We all have different styles when connecting and the awareness of how you communicate can optimize connection and understanding. Identifying and naming the how you communicate as well as the other person can create an environment and conditions that minimize miscommunication.
CONTROLLING
Results: Spare me the details.
Will it work?
Action: What do we do about it?
What’s next?
Efficiency: Let’s settle this now.
Just do it.
Payoff: What will it cost?
What’s the bottom line?
Pragmatic: That’s not realistic.
What will it take?
ANALYZING
History: Has this been tried before?
I’d like to know the background.
Details: Can you give me a breakdown?
Have we left anything out?
Logic: Can you support that with evidence?
All sides: What are our options?
Is there a downside?
Another thing to consider. . . .
Process: Let’s review the steps. . . .
How did you . . . ?
ADVOCATING
Future: It’s too short-sighted.
Let’s look at the big picture.
What if. . . .
Unique: I’m looking for a new way.
Here’s a new twist. . . .
This has never been done before.
Why? Why not?
Impact: This will have far-reaching effects.
Nothing will ever be the same again.
Visibility: This will make us look good!
What a splash this will make
FACILITATING
Past: Here’s what we used to do. . . .
That reminds me of the time. . .
I’d like to tell a story.
People: How will this affect them?
Who might be hurt by this?
Relating: I like his style.
I know her pretty well.
Inclusion: Let’s go talk to some people.
Who else should know?